Student portal broken. Again...

Just so you know: this page was imported from my old blog. Some pages were rather mangled in the process; my apologies if things don't quite look right.

University portal error
This is starting to feel like Groundhog day for me...

Never let it be said that the University don't have any impressive strings to their bow: their student portal, an example of all that is good and great about Web 2.0-orientated design (sarcasm... sorry...), is clearly capable of working out exactly when its customers - us students - are at their most stressed and, using what can only be a form of advanced internet-based mind-reading technology, works out precisely the most important parts of its website that students will unfailingly need to use.

And then, possibly out of spite, or a very sick sense of humour, pretends it's broken.

Note the use of "pretends" - it isn't actually broken; oh no, it couldn't possibly be. That would imply the University have done something wrong, or at least that they failed to do something right, and we all know that's definitely not possible...

So, once again, as 20,000-ish students are desperately scrabbling around to revise for their exams, and need to occasionally check their student portals to make sure the goalposts haven't moved*, the University's ONE essential link to its students - the people who pay their wages, gas and electric bills, etc etc - has proven itself flaky, unreliable and about as much use as a Tetleys tea bag condom.

* Goalposts, movement of: when the University's exam portal categorically states that "This is the final and complete examinations timetable", and then you find out the exam you've turned up to actually took place last week, and for some unknown reason your portal didn't reflect that information, but since it only happened to you it "didn't actually happen and you're probably just making it up to get yourself an ECF".

... aaaand then it happens another 4 times, so you fail the year. Bollocks...

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