This week’s tweets: 2010-09-04

  • I know everything's transient, but transient's ok. For now… (Heading home against the commuters' flow) #

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This week’s tweets: 2010-08-28

  • @1èr ètage for We Love…, Space, Ibz. Dj just dropped Renaissance classic Perfect Motion by Sunscreem. Think I might just be in heaven =o} #
  • Este noche es nuestra noche finale en Ibiza :( pero Florence y la machina a #IbizaRocks y Carl Cox a #SpaceIbiza con @jenihotham – w00t! =o} #
  • What a welcome home: phone bill's in – phone calls to #Santander to fix their customer service cockups have cost me £40. Not cool – grr! #
  • Back from Ibz but life's good: polished off bottle of white with glass of seafood paella on the side {hic} + tiramisu to come w/ @jenihotham #
  • Very poor show #santander: I just entered my 10-digit banking ID. Why are you now asking me to re-enter it? Massive #usability #fail. #
  • Moar #santander #fail: how the hell should I know what "New Registration Number does not comply with policies" means? Plz sack ur webteam :@ #

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This week’s tweets: 2010-08-21

  • Just opened suitcase to pack for Ibiza tonight. Found it's still full of clean, new, folded clothes from my Ibiza 2009 Fail Trip. Eerie… #
  • I'm off to #Ibiza. Again! Brb… =o) #
  • I'm off to #Ibiza. Again! Brb… =o) #
  • Ibiza amazing. Keep bumping into old friends. Strange to see island thru a turista's eyes, but still awesum. We Love… @Space mañana =o} #

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This week’s tweets: 2010-08-14

  • Really uncomfortable. Finding it hard to believe my GP's diagnosis of muscular pain. Needling jaw pain? Massive fail. Ouch. #
  • Feeling meh, but slept like a log last night. Which is nice. Morning, y'alls =o) #
  • Living off yesterday's free cupcakes from a grateful client 'cos I forgot my wallet today. Massive health fail… #
  • Apparently, my O2 sat average is 95%. That's a bit low… #
  • @multijoy You know me too well… Anyway, when are we having this pint? :-P in reply to multijoy #
  • Ok, still in pain. My money's on a recurrant primary spontaneous pneumothorax. But only 'cos it sounds awesum, you understand… ;o) #
  • Fine, sod it then; apparently I can't be ill because nothing's visible on the x-ray. Time to man up and tough it out I guess… =o) #
  • Ibz in less than 4 days. Excited/apprehensive/worried/happy/scared/hesitant/yippee, etc! #
  • OMG, Shit Party 2010 is happening while we're in Ibiza! http://tinyurl.com/shitparty2010
    ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG! #
  • Oh hey, that's new: now the pain's round the back of my left lung owowowowowowOW. Bloody owch. Right under my shoulder blade. Massive fail. #
  • Massive pre-holiday nerves – what a massive failboy! Ah well, it'll be ok, even if we have to sleep on PDB beach… ;o) #

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This week’s tweets: 2010-08-07

  • Lol @JeremyClarkson on TG; 'lot of anagrams going on here today…' #
  • @_laurapatricia So what's going on then? You ok in reply to _laurapatricia #
  • iPhone's behaving itself after I did a complete restore, so to celebrate I'm tempting fate by Jailbreaking it via http://www.jailbreakme.com ;o) #
  • Good deed for the day done, I reckon. Lovely person, good chat and a thankyou made it all worthwhile =o) #
  • Not slept a wink. Not even five mins. Brain hurts from the thought of getting up. Running a temp. Massive hypochondriac-itis fail… #
  • Yes, manscaping is vital for the more, err, hirsute gent like me, but why have I just agreed with g/f to have my top half waxed b4 hols? :-S #
  • @multijoy Walrus, actually – here's what I sound like… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXHeLXsLuMQ ;o) in reply to multijoy #
  • Working late. Last one in the office. Only my desklight, the monitor and a neighbouring iMac's screensaver for company. Peaceful… =o) #
  • @_laurapatricia That's not true. I haven't been arrested for public indecency in at least, oohh… Six hours? (How are you, by the way? :o) in reply to _laurapatricia #
  • When did I stop trying, stop caring? Or is it something else…? #

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This week’s tweets: 2010-07-31

  • Grr, why is it Word 2010/Win 7 loads in 3 secs, but Word 2011/OS X takes 30 secs? (It's Monday, so I'm exercising my right to be grumpy) #
  • Absolutely devastated to hear about Love Parade deaths. Thoughts with the families of those killed or injured. Very sad days. #
  • Right, that's it. iOS 4 can bugger off: it's jerky, slow, eats battery & gives me precisely zero more than iOS 3 except headaches & crashes! #
  • Bloody hell, not only does the iPhone now crash when I try to sync it, but iTunes has wiped all the music off. And it's crashed again! Aargh #
  • Does anybody else think the #priceisright and #grandtheftauto logos look suspiciously similar…? ;o) http://twitpic.com/2945vb #
  • @anyclean Hi Anyclean, how much to clean a 3 bedroom house in KT1 please? We're moving out soon and need it spotless for the landlord. Thx! #
  • @Steve__baker @tokyotombola How about the Google Nexus One then? http://www.reghardware.com/2010/03/10/review_smartphone_google_nexus_one/ in reply to Steve__baker #
  • I've just decided I officially _like_ techno; listening to http://technopodcast.com and I. Like. It. =o) #
  • Nggyargh! No Alliance & LeiSantander, I don't want to be brainwashed by the same too-loud 29 seconds of overly-cheery hold music. Pick up! #
  • Wow, this morning's coffee just blew my tastebuds off… I think I need a lie down… Oh no, too jittery now. #
  • @multijoy Sounds like all the essentials are in place. Don't forget to re-set the timing on the fonglesprocket afterwards… in reply to multijoy #

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This week’s tweets: 2010-07-24

  • It's BBQ time – Nando's marinade is out, turkey's basted, and #topgear is on in 30 mins. Nom nom nom… http://yfrog.com/1nbg7ovj #
  • Marshmallows for dessert – massive nom nom nom win… =o) http://yfrog.com/4bqe3j #
  • I've suddenly found myself wondering whether I should try and finish off my PPL… Wonder how expensive it would be to get my IFR rating? #
  • Off to the gym at 6pm sharp; got an hour of HIIT cross-training, then to reward myself with a sauna & swim with @jenihotham, if I survive… #
  • #Spotifyin' Crowded House – 'Weather With You'. Nice =o) #
  • Oh joy, it must be the Wednesday morning massive-Mac-crash of doom. Watch my apps stop responding one-by-one. Wooyeahhhhhh. Ahem. #
  • Don't think I particularly want to be here any more; today's been a bit of a write off. Ah well… #
  • No, Scribd, I don't want to have to sign in with my Facebook account just to download a PDF. Naughty Scribd. Bad Scribd… #
  • Descent. #
  • Looking at #00acec and #5b5e60 colour schemes. Very interesting indeed… =o) #
  • Music's ability to give me happy-shivers never ceases to amaze me. Funky house time w/@Meck – Ibiza 2010: http://bit.ly/bwzAjI – tuuuuuuu… #

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This week’s tweets: 2010-07-17

  • Yum, breakfast! Chopped banana 'n strawbs chucked on a bowl of Jordan's something-or-other. Nom nom nom… http://yfrog.com/1qzbeyj #
  • Bonne Jour De Bastille…? #
  • Wtfeck have Alliance and Leicester done to my bank accounts? My sort code and account numbers have changed to Santander ones – argh! #
  • Quelle surprise: the Alliance & Leicester online banking site is broken again. Massive monetary fail… :-P #
  • Unless you're dead or have lived under a rock which itself was living under a rock, go here and lol: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com #
  • 118/64@59 resting. So my head's not about to explode? Phew =o) #
  • Girlfriend just got back to country with family after 5* holiday. Car tyre was flat, and their pre-booked hotel has no rooms. England fail! #
  • Ehhm, an apparently-widely-known p*rn videos website has just requested permission to use a photo of mine from Ibiza '08. Should I say yes? #
  • @multijoy Of course not! ;o) No-one in shot is identifiable; it's one of the workers' Shit Party pics at http://bit.ly/c78lmZ (Flickr) in reply to multijoy #
  • Ok, ok, I'll stop swearing at the computer and RTFM instead… #
  • For. ****'s. Sake. Apple iCal, if you can't add an event to a Google calendar without crashing, I'm going back to Google. Bye, heap'o'crap! #
  • Yey, Sigma heart monitor watch has arrived. Now I can look like a failed gym fanboi all day round! Woohoo ;o) #
  • What can I get for lunch in Soho with a budget of £1.20? There's a Tesco's nearby. Best idea wins its owner a drink (not today though!) =o) #
  • Is BBC Radio employing submissive tactics to widen listenership? 'Stick us where you like' – ooh matron! http://bit.ly/duBu1b #
  • Actual food win: Tesco's are flogging off their Spag Bol ready meals for a princely £1. I won't starve today, and I still have 20p. Bonus! #
  • Ah, slight problem: I'm incapable of eating spag bol without ending up wearing most of it. My suit trousers and posh shirt are in trouble… #
  • Spag bol crisis averted: I have commandeered a makeshift napkin from an old dishcloth. I look like granddad with his blanket… #
  • Watching 'Between Life And Death' on BBC 1. Really harrowing so far. There but for the grace of God go we… #
  • @sarahisageek Try No More Nails (TM) – should fix your false nail problems forever… ;o) in reply to sarahisageek #
  • Raiding a colleague's iTunes library; I'd forgotten just how much I love #Hybrid and #Orbital. Where's my Best Of Rave album? :D #
  • @jamiepotter Sorry chap, I normally find your tweets interesting enough to justify the rants, but the c-word's a bit too much for me. Bye :( #
  • At the age of 28, you'd'a thought I'd either have figured out how to not make a numpty of myself in public, or to live with it. Meh… #
  • Apple's claim that signal bars were incorrectly calculated is rubbish. iPhone 4 design is flawed. If it looks like a duck… #
  • @jamiepotter Meh, it's cool – we all have a crap day or two. Hope today's better (it is Friday after all… =o) #
  • http://tweetphoto.com/32976252 @rushton2 Aaargh! My eyes! Argh! Noooo! Make it stop! (Ooh, is that Playa d'en Bossa?) #
  • @multijoy Akshually, I'm employed as a tramp by Westminster Council as part of their #ClimateCamp interference programme. Sanitation fail =) #
  • @sarahisageek Ouch. In that case you probably want superglue instead of No More Nails. Much better at holding limbs together. You're welcome in reply to sarahisageek #
  • @rushton2 Still, apart from the 'view', it looks very nice. I'm insanely jealous ;o) Disfrutar la playa! in reply to rushton2 #
  • @_laurapatricia Thankyou for the #ff – same to you @_laurapatricia (did I get it right?) in reply to _laurapatricia #
  • On packed train home. Someone has Aleksander Orlov's "simples" as an SMS tone. Must. Stop. Grinning. Like. A. Loon… ;) #

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This week’s tweets: 2010-07-10

  • Err, piss off #Microsoft – your #Silverlight plugin for Chrome on OS X has crashed AGAIN, bringing the Mac to a halt. Deleted! #
  • Argh! Why do I always get dive-bombed by wasps when I sit in the garden? Do my grey hairs radiate some kind of wasp-enticing signal? Bzzzzz! #
  • This is pretty cool in a hugely geeky way: my Macbook is the 1st laptop I've ever had where you can easily see the screen in direct sunlight #
  • Something's wrong with my #iPhone (3GS) with the new iOS4: battery's gone from 35% to 7% in a little over an hour. This isn't good… :( #
  • Lovely dinner at the 'rents. Pretty sure the iPhone is dead though – went from 20% to 4% in 30 minutes. Won't turn on at all now. Shit :o( #
  • Oh joy, the POS… I mean the iPhone, has decided to turn on. Nice to have you back. Bet you still won't get a connection over 3G tho… Grr #
  • @ncameron You follow @MelKirk too? Apologies Mel for my poor memory, but I can't remember why I'm following you. Now I feel a bit stalky…! in reply to ncameron #
  • @MelKirk Also, are you sure they're not simply disproportionately-built…? in reply to MelKirk #
  • Having a bit of a surreal MSN conversation with my boss about Speed Cocks at the moment… Not entiiiirely sure what they are… #
  • Just broke the whiteboard eraser at work. Two big magnets fell out. No work this afternoon: time for Fun With Magnets instead – yeyyyyy! =o) #
  • Oh s*** x50; the #drupal.org website is showing an "offline" error message. That's not good…! #
  • In office chuckling and saying "very cool" to myself because I've finally got #Aegir and #Drupal to play nicely. Very cool, v embarrassing! #
  • Back from gym. Cross-trained 900cal/60 mins/10-ish km. Massive salad and a Sainsbury's curry for desert. Cool ;) #
  • I suspect that, like most people, my relationship with Twitter is superficial; do (m)any basically sane people share their innermost voice? #
  • Bored before bed. Turned telleh on to find documentary about Rolls Royce jet engines. Geeky shame, but the plane-spotter in me is hooked ;o) #
  • Can't sleep. On the plus side, I have Jen's stuffed toy pig 'Hamlet' to keep me company. Yes, he's a pig called *Ham*let. How cool is that?! #
  • Nervous. #
  • Less nervous thankfully (health-related matter). Distracted from that by the realisation I may have just dodged a journalistic bullet… :-/ #
  • On train to work at last, head nodding and feet tapping uncontrollably to the @jorisvoorn @Mixmag cover CD. Cheeky =o) #
  • Hmm, I think I'm going to have to change my Twitter pic soon though. I'm posing in Ibeefa in a bedsheet toga with aviators. Shit Party win! #
  • I'm down to 20% battery again after 3 hours of playing music and browsing t'interwebz. Grrrr! #
  • Can't wait to get to the gym tonight and wake myself up by causing myself inordinate amounts of pain. Massive masochism win… ;o) #
  • Gym tip: using a sock as a makeshift iPod sleeve? Always remove b4 jumping in pool. Floating socks tend to look like escaped package padding #
  • And, for the record, I don't need a sock down my running shorts to make me look well-endowed at the gym; I prefer an even pair. Or four… #
  • What, I'm the only person who thinks about these things? What else have I got to do while I'm basically self-harming with a cross-trainer? #
  • Ok, I promise no more attempts at being 'funny'. See, I even used quotes so no-one can say that my funny = a normal person's fail. Nite! #
  • Five years on. #
  • Just re-checked something after I was told I didn't need to worry about it yesterday. Glad I did; something's broken… #
  • Experian just knocked 100 points off my credit score by correcting an 'error'. The error? My home address was listed twice. Bugger! :o( #
  • Just realised why Michael Jackson's Billie Jean's stuck in my head; I'm having Chilli Bean soup for lunch. Get it? Billie Jean/Chillie Bean? #
  • Oh my aching eardrums: fire alarm test… #
  • http://www.abeautifulrevolution.com =o) #
  • @_laurapatricia Have you read Child 44? It's supposed to be very good, and a sequel has been released recently. http://bit.ly/bi6hT8 in reply to _laurapatricia #
  • How the fap have I managed to put on a STONE in the week since I started at the gym? There's no muscle – it's all lard and grey hair. Ew! ;) #
  • ╲╲╲╲╲╭━━━━╮╱╱╱╱╱ ╲╲╲╲╲┃┊◒◒┊┃╱╱╱╱╱ ╭━━━━╯┊╰╯┊╰━━━━╮ ┃╭╮╭╮╭╮╭╮╭╮╭╮╭╮┃ ┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃ ╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯
    Paul the Octopus (via @sebastianflyte) #
  • Been playing Bodgeit The Air Conditioning Fitter at the office; zip ties, gaffer tape, wings and prayers all required, but WE HAVE COOL! :oD #
  • Ok, when I say "I" played Aircon FItter, what I meant was they let me hold the gaffer tape. Like they'd let me play with electricity…! ;o) #
  • Just registered as an organ donor at http://www.organdonation.nhs.uk. Possibly my one Good Thing this wk. Hope no-one receives my brain though ;o) #
  • Acutely anhedonic. #
  • @willperrin @jamiepotter Have you seen http://mapofpower.com? It's a community-led project to bring accountability to politicians etc. in reply to jamiepotter #

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This week’s tweets: 2010-07-10

  • Err, piss off #Microsoft – your #Silverlight plugin for Chrome on OS X has crashed AGAIN, bringing the Mac to a halt. Deleted! #
  • Argh! Why do I always get dive-bombed by wasps when I sit in the garden? Do my grey hairs radiate some kind of wasp-enticing signal? Bzzzzz! #
  • This is pretty cool in a hugely geeky way: my Macbook is the 1st laptop I've ever had where you can easily see the screen in direct sunlight #
  • Something's wrong with my #iPhone (3GS) with the new iOS4: battery's gone from 35% to 7% in a little over an hour. This isn't good… :( #
  • Lovely dinner at the 'rents. Pretty sure the iPhone is dead though – went from 20% to 4% in 30 minutes. Won't turn on at all now. Shit :o( #
  • Oh joy, the POS… I mean the iPhone, has decided to turn on. Nice to have you back. Bet you still won't get a connection over 3G tho… Grr #
  • @ncameron You follow @MelKirk too? Apologies Mel for my poor memory, but I can't remember why I'm following you. Now I feel a bit stalky…! in reply to ncameron #
  • @MelKirk Also, are you sure they're not simply disproportionately-built…? in reply to MelKirk #
  • Having a bit of a surreal MSN conversation with my boss about Speed Cocks at the moment… Not entiiiirely sure what they are… #
  • Just broke the whiteboard eraser at work. Two big magnets fell out. No work this afternoon: time for Fun With Magnets instead – yeyyyyy! =o) #
  • Oh s*** x50; the #drupal.org website is showing an "offline" error message. That's not good…! #
  • In office chuckling and saying "very cool" to myself because I've finally got #Aegir and #Drupal to play nicely. Very cool, v embarrassing! #
  • Back from gym. Cross-trained 900cal/60 mins/10-ish km. Massive salad and a Sainsbury's curry for desert. Cool ;) #
  • I suspect that, like most people, my relationship with Twitter is superficial; do (m)any basically sane people share their innermost voice? #
  • Bored before bed. Turned telleh on to find documentary about Rolls Royce jet engines. Geeky shame, but the plane-spotter in me is hooked ;o) #
  • Can't sleep. On the plus side, I have Jen's stuffed toy pig 'Hamlet' to keep me company. Yes, he's a pig called *Ham*let. How cool is that?! #
  • Nervous. #
  • Less nervous thankfully (health-related matter). Distracted from that by the realisation I may have just dodged a journalistic bullet… :-/ #
  • On train to work at last, head nodding and feet tapping uncontrollably to the @jorisvoorn @Mixmag cover CD. Cheeky =o) #
  • Hmm, I think I'm going to have to change my Twitter pic soon though. I'm posing in Ibeefa in a bedsheet toga with aviators. Shit Party win! #
  • I'm down to 20% battery again after 3 hours of playing music and browsing t'interwebz. Grrrr! #
  • Can't wait to get to the gym tonight and wake myself up by causing myself inordinate amounts of pain. Massive masochism win… ;o) #
  • Gym tip: using a sock as a makeshift iPod sleeve? Always remove b4 jumping in pool. Floating socks tend to look like escaped package padding #
  • And, for the record, I don't need a sock down my running shorts to make me look well-endowed at the gym; I prefer an even pair. Or four… #
  • What, I'm the only person who thinks about these things? What else have I got to do while I'm basically self-harming with a cross-trainer? #
  • Ok, I promise no more attempts at being 'funny'. See, I even used quotes so no-one can say that my funny = a normal person's fail. Nite! #
  • Five years on. #
  • Just re-checked something after I was told I didn't need to worry about it yesterday. Glad I did; something's broken… #
  • Experian just knocked 100 points off my credit score by correcting an 'error'. The error? My home address was listed twice. Bugger! :o( #
  • Just realised why Michael Jackson's Billie Jean's stuck in my head; I'm having Chilli Bean soup for lunch. Get it? Billie Jean/Chillie Bean? #
  • Oh my aching eardrums: fire alarm test… #
  • http://www.abeautifulrevolution.com =o) #
  • @_laurapatricia Have you read Child 44? It's supposed to be very good, and a sequel has been released recently. http://bit.ly/bi6hT8 in reply to _laurapatricia #
  • How the fap have I managed to put on a STONE in the week since I started at the gym? There's no muscle – it's all lard and grey hair. Ew! ;) #
  • ╲╲╲╲╲╭━━━━╮╱╱╱╱╱ ╲╲╲╲╲┃┊◒◒┊┃╱╱╱╱╱ ╭━━━━╯┊╰╯┊╰━━━━╮ ┃╭╮╭╮╭╮╭╮╭╮╭╮╭╮┃ ┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃┃ ╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯╰╯
    Paul the Octopus (via @sebastianflyte) #
  • Been playing Bodgeit The Air Conditioning Fitter at the office; zip ties, gaffer tape, wings and prayers all required, but WE HAVE COOL! :oD #
  • Ok, when I say "I" played Aircon FItter, what I meant was they let me hold the gaffer tape. Like they'd let me play with electricity…! ;o) #
  • Just registered as an organ donor at http://www.organdonation.nhs.uk. Possibly my one Good Thing this wk. Hope no-one receives my brain though ;o) #
  • Acutely anhedonic. #
  • @willperrin @jamiepotter Have you seen http://mapofpower.com? It's a community-led project to bring accountability to politicians etc. in reply to jamiepotter #

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